Breaking in a New School Year

Today I started implementing the new schedule that I've spent countless hours putting together.  I was using the MOTH approach ala www.titus2.com.  I was utterly amazed at how some of it came together.  For example, I had no idea exactly what my baby girl's schedule was.  I just guessed at it.  This morning she took a nap at exactly 11:00 a.m. as scheduled.  Maybe she read it? 

My 2-year-old apparently did NOT read the new schedule.  Mommy was excited to have "toddler time" using all the great materials she's collected over the years and severely under used.  The toddler had his own ideas for how to use that time.  UGH.  I should have let him direct that time, right?  I will keep options available, but will let him choose. 

I am sorry to say that I lost my temper today.  Between repeated temper tantrums, the usual fighting between the middle boys, and my oldest insisting on playing with his eyelid skin (this is akin to scratching a chalkboard to me), I had had it. 

But I was recharged when my niece arrived to watch the kids for my first errand day.  I shopped...for ME!  I bought some non-frumpy clothes and I was delighted.  I also decided to refill my gas tank every Monday.  What I've done in the past is put it off until I can enjoy the heart-pounding thrill of wondering if I will arrive at the pump on fumes.  :-) 

Somehow I have to wonder how God endures so patiently with me.  Here I am with my neat little schedule and my plans and expectations.  And He's waiting there for me to acknowledge that HE has a schedule and plans and expectations for me and they don't necessarily mesh with mine.  I used to think that when Jesus said that love was laying down your life for a brother that I was glad I hadn't been called to do that!  I haven't rescued anyone from a burning building lately.  But I was wrong.  I am called to lay down my life every day.  I am off to lay me down to sleep now and prepare for school day #2.

Not Too Busy!

The last couple of summers I have spent a good chunk of time working on my schedule and organizing for the upcoming school year.  I had high hopes of having a summer of preparation this year, too.  My summer wasn't anything like I anticipated. I have never found enough kid-controlled time to get ready for another year--at least never what I considered to be enough.  As a result, I've told everyone I've talked to that this summer has been TOO busy.  We've had Cub Scout Camp and VBS and camping and water parks and movies and theme parks and lake weekends and baseball and piano lessons and tennis lessons and zoo outings...you get the picture. 

In thinking about this I've realized what a negative spin I've put on my summer.  The more I think of it as "too busy," the more overwhelmed I feel.  Truth is we have had a LOT of fun this summer.  Is it possible to have too much fun?  I think of that country song that describes the cop writing a ticket for the boy having too much fun.  Like the singer, I don't think that's possible!  I've had a wonderful summer.  If I haven't had the time I've wanted to prepare for school, it's because I have been waiting for TOO much time to fall in my lap.  So now I'm preparing 15 minutes at a time FLY-Lady style.  And I've made a commitment.  I'm going to do my best to stop saying how "busy" I am and instead talk about how blessed I am!

 

Frustration and Joy

Tonight I am wondering how on earth I can feel so frustrated during part of the day and so joyful during another.  Every time I sat down to eat or get online or play a game with the kids, there was a 2yo screaming to sit on the potty (he never goes), a 4yo crying for a drink or snack, a 6yo complaining about the 4yo, an 8yo aggravating my niece, or a baby fussing over a dirty diaper.  I wonder how on earth I can keep doing this.  I wonder how I will be able to keep a full homeschooling schedule! 

Somehow I realize that I won't be able to do this alone.  I have no power to organize.  I have no self-discipline.  I have no desire to put my children and family first.  I will have to let Jesus do it all for me. 

At the end of the day, I wonder what my problem was!  It doesn't matter if I get everything done perfectly or "on time."  None of the toys on the floor or the piles of papers waiting to be filed or the pictures waiting for albums is going to last.  The only thing I'm taking with me are these children and this husband of mine.  God hired me to love them.  That's not so hard.  At least not while they're asleep.